The Rules To Having a Great Time Swinging
As with all things in life, there are right ways and wrong ways to do things. In this case, following the rules to swinging means that everyone has a good time, you build a good reputation and you get invited to play with more people. The big theme of this list is communication. If everything has been discussed ahead of time, your swinging experience is likely going to be a lot more fun.
The following are my 10 rules for having a good time on your swinging adventure.
1. Have Clear Rules and Expectations With Your Partner Before Going to the Club
Before you ever get to a swing club or house party, it is vitally important that you communicate with your partner what the rules and boundaries are for your swinging adventure. There are a lot of potential situations that you could encounter and having them talked through ahead of time will make all the difference in the world. Some things to consider:
- Kissing, yes or no
- Soft or hard swap?
- Same room or separate room?
- Oral sex only, or vaginal, or anal, or anything goes?
- Same-sex interactions?
There aren’t any right or wrong answers here and the rules may change as you go along and get more comfortable with swinging.
This is not the time to be reserved, shy, or hold back your feelings for the sake of anyone else. If you don’t want to do one particular thing then you need to communicate it. Your partner is not a mind reader, you must verbalize what you are wanting to happen or not happen. This leads us to the next rule for having a good time swinging.
2. Set a Codeword
Especially if you are new, swing clubs or swing parties can be overwhelming. Even if you are veteran swingers, situations can arise that one of you isn’t good with. The easiest way to communicate this to your partner is to have a safe word.
A simple safeword or codeword is a discrete way to communicate to your partner that you aren’t interested in a couple before you are playing or if a situation has come up while playing that one of you isn’t comfortable with.
Consider setting not one, but a few codewords. Some codewords might indicate pleasure while others pain. Take some time and come up with a few.
Swinging is a mutual decision, and a codeword will keep any surprise situations from turning into a real mess.
3. Communicate With Other Couples Clearly
Much like communication with your partner, communication with other couples is very important. Everyone at a swing event is an adult and there is no reason to be shy talking about sex with other couples.
Be tactful, but let people know what you are good with and what you aren’t. Also be sure to ask permission before touching, especially in a sexual way.
4. Don’t Get Trashed
Especially if you are new, the temptation may be to have a bit too much liquid courage or something else to take the edge off. While doing that in moderation is perfectly fine, overindulging is a major breach of etiquette in any swing club or at any party.
Getting wasted and causing issues is a sure way to get kicked out of an event and possibly banned. Additionally, getting too loose may temp you to be a little too handsy and violate the consent rules.
5. Follow Club Rules At All Times
Every swingers club or party has a set of rules. You need to be aware of these and make sure that you follow them.
Typically typical rules include attendance by solo men, needing to attend orientations, alcohol, recreational drugs, unattended men in play areas, cleaning up after yourself, and so on.
The best thing to do is to get on your particular club’s website and check the rules before you go. If you have any questions, talk to the host upon your arrival.
6. Practice Safe Sex
One of the basic tenets of swinging is to practice safe sex. Even if you know the people and have played with them before, it is still a good idea to wrap it up. You never know what other couples do when they aren’t at the club.
Most clubs will have condoms available, but I suggest bringing your own so you know that you like them. The best way to buy them is online. They are much cheaper than if you buy them in the grocery store. My preference is Crown Condoms. They don’t leave that horrible taste on everything, are durable, and cost less than a quarter each if you buy them in bulk.
7. You Don’t Have To Rush
There is no rule that you have to play with anyone else at a swing club. I’ve been to the club plenty of times with a partner and wound up only fooling around with them over the course of the night. In fact, I’d even suggest making your first night a no-play night, just to take that pressure off if you or your partner is having a case of nerves.
8. Hygiene Is Important
If you are planning on a night out to play at the club, get your hygiene on point. Be freshly showered and smelling good, especially ‘down there’. Put on your deodorant, and maybe some perfume or cologne.
Additionally, it is good form to get tested for STDs on a regular basis. Spreading cooties is severely bad form.
9. Clean Up After Yourself
Sex is a messy affair, especially if it is good. It is good behavior to clean up after yourself, not leaving any used condoms, condom wrappers, or soiled sheets behind after you are done playing. Use towels to sit on when needed, and under you if you tend to make a real mess.
You probably don’t want to lay down in anyone else’s wet spot, and no one wants to accidentally land in yours.
10. Don’t Be Weird After Sex
If you wind up playing with a couple, don’t get weird. Be polite, but there is no requirement to exchange numbers or become best buddies afterward. Thank them and let them know you had a good time, provided you did. If you didn’t then I’d suggest not commenting unless there was a breach of club etiquette.
Being polite and fun will go a long way to building a good reputation for yourself and open up more opportunities to have more fun.
Those Are My 10 Basic Rules To Swinging
If you follow those rules to swinging, you will avoid 99% of the drama. Now get out there, meet some people and have fun!