What Is A Hotwife?

While you don’t see it mentioned in too many ‘mainstream’ dating apps, in more alternative circles, you may have seen the term ‘hotwife’ or ‘hot wife’ and wondered just what they are talking about.

In short, the term hotwife refers to a married woman whose husband approves of, or encourages them to sleep with other men. This dynamic take the form of cuckolding or he may just really enjoy knowing that she is getting sexually pleasured.

Is it Hot Wife or HotWife?

So far I’ve not seen any official convention on whether the term hot wife or hotwife is correct. In general, I use the term hot wife to refer to someones wife that is sexually attractive, and use the term hotwife to refer to a married (or in a long term relationship) that sleeps with other men with their partner’s approval or encouragement. I feel like using those two phrases helps disambiguate things a little bit.

What Is The Appeal of Hotwifing?

Most often, writers attribute the appeal of the HotWife dynamic to the men wanting to be cuckolds. These men get pleasure out of the “shame” or emasculation of the dynamic and knowing that their wives enjoy having sex with other men better than them.

While this is true for many of the men married to hotwives, I feel too many people writing articles on the subject gloss over the men that simply enjoy knowing that their women are being naughty or love seeing their wives glowing with that “new person energy”. I can say for one, that it is very arousing to be with a partner that is bubbling with excitement over a recent encounter.

For the women, a large part of the appeal is of course that they get to hook up with whomever they want. Depending on the dynamic, they may also enjoy the naughtiness/slutty/taboo factor of sleeping with a lot of men they aren’t married to. If they have a cuckolding situation going on with their husband, they may also enjoy that power exchange as well.

Who Holds The Power In a HotWife Relationship

I’ve read a lot of thoughts form other people on what does the power look like in a HotWife relationship, and most comments are too focused on polarized dynamics in my opinion.

The main concern that most writers have with hotwifing, is that the men, even if they are the cuckold in the relationship, can be just using their unwilling wives for sexual gratification. In this scenario, the wives just turn into the players in his sex story. This of course can be very problematic if she really isn’t into the hotwife dynamic and is just going along to make him happy. The inverse of course true as well, if she is wanting extra partners and he isn’t into it, but is getting bullied/shamed into letting her do what she wants.

As with most things in a relationship, this is a situation where honest communication and agreement is key, so there is a balance and both people are getting what they want. If one partner is calling all the shots and the other is going along unwillingly, that doesn’t make for a very healthy relationship.